How to “Win without winning” - A profound chat with Sir David Brailsford.
In the summer of 2017, I had a profound conversation with Sir David Brailsford, the Performance Director behind the mighty Team Sky and the mastermind behind the concept of Marginal Gains. This conversation has left a mantra I often repeat to myself to ensure I shine as my best self, regardless of the circumstance.
Sir David Brailsford
After my secondment with the Sky Cycling team, and after the Sky Team had returned from winning the Tour de France that year, I was lucky enough to have a brief discussion with Sir David about the importance of unconscious emotional well-being, neuroscience, and peak performance. What he said left a lasting impression on me and impacted my studies, as I was just about to start my master’s in psychology at university.
At the heart of our conversation was achieving triumph beyond individual success, even if you were not winning (yet). Sir David wanted to find a way for each team member to “Win without winning!”
Let that sink for a moment. This is not an easy feat, “Win without winning.”
Sir David needed his whole team to shine and perform, not just Chris Froome, who would stand on the podium. The opposite is Formula One: Think of Hamilton, who has to win regardless of team strategy! Sir David knew this was one of his biggest challenges, but it’s also a challenge we must all face.
Imagine being part of a team, working hard at something you love, but knowing that you won’t be officially praised or stand on the podium. What would you do in such a situation? Would you still give it your all, or would you check out and look for other ways to be acknowledged?
The truth is, we cannot expect to win every day, get praise or be on the podium, but that should not stop us from showing up and doing our best or from honouring and loving ourselves.
What was the conversation really about & why was it a revolutionary approach?
The conversation and approach were about peak performance and winning, but they were not about processes, technology, the environment or extrinsic motivation, i.e., the controllable stuff. They were revolutionary because he delved deeper into the core of who we are and how we perform, create, and show up when things are not easy—all the stuff that fascinates me, and I’m here to help people solve.
Many people and businesses avoid this because it’s messy and individual. It asks us to know ourselves, our triggers, and our shadows. It requires us to shine and not fall into unhelpful narratives of “I’m not good enough,” “it’s never me,” or “it’s unfair.” “It’s ……..(fill in the blank).
It's about our self-esteem, wholeness & yes, peak performance.
Sir David realised that human nature defaults to negativity when we do not feel supported or win. We need help to feel supported, especially when we are working hard, stretching ourselves, in uncertainty, or when things go wrong and we are not being validated. We need to have a healthy sense of me—before ‘We’, as the team needed all the team—not just Chris Froome (who was also lovely)—to win.
Chris Froome, after their win at the Tour de France, 2017 with Nila Matthews, Sky offices.
To help the team, each morning, Sir David and his team checked in with each athlete electronically to gauge their emotions and energy. He wanted people to be honest about their feelings and not bury or hide them with the usual “I’m fine” mentality.
I know now that attempting to conceal or suppress our true feelings is futile, as our nervous system registers and influences our cognitive functions and overall performance. Our nervous system is the holder of that stress for work or life stress, and unreleased tension and suppressed emotions inevitably manifest in detrimental ways, hindering individual and team success and often leading to burnout and ill health (something I know a lot about due to past experience of doing just this).
Why did I remember this saying?
Last week, while working part-time, I encountered passive aggression from three people. Instead of reacting like my older self, I took a moment to reflect and let go of my frustration through nervous system work. I then vowed to focus on shining my magic despite the situation and, throughout the day, kept re-focusing on my intention.
At the end of the day, I was quietly surprised when I was individually acknowledged for doing a great job and helping others. I won by staying in my power: calm, creative, and passionate. This allowed me to stay in a state of flow and wholeness, not taking it personally (their reactions were more about them, not me). I did not then turn into a reactive mess with a stress ball in my stomach that would have drank wine to soothe the day away in the evening, i.e. allow my Saboteur to take hold, which again takes my power away.
I acknowledged the irritation, asked if I had anything to learn, and, with discernment, surrounded it and that energy with simple tools to ease and release my nervous system, the holder of our stress. Of course, this takes practice, but we can all do it.
What happens if we bottle up?
Bottling it up leads to a later explosion, ill health, and burnout. I was lucky I knew how to release without a tantrum. For teams, this often means frustration, team bickering, and personal sabotaging thoughts and actions like combat, collapse, comfort eating, or drinking to numb—all the makings of a toxic culture and environment.
From a neuroscience perspective, feeling safe and supported in the first couple of steps up the ladder to our Trine brain, which controls us (see image). We need to know how to support ourselves or feel that from others before we can give love to others, work rationally or creatively, or perform effectively. That is the ladder.
I also know this takes courage and business/personal responsibility.
When I think of Sir David Brailsford and his search for Marginal gains, he looked at everything with creative curiosity: What else can be tweaked? A creative mindset for me is vital. However, unlike others, he wasn’t afraid to go to the one thing most people and businesses are afraid to go to:
The heart of who we are. Because, as ancient wisdom tells us, “As within—So Without.
Peak performance requires courage more than physical fitness and outside technology, processes, extrinsic motivation or even basic mindset tools.
Our inner and unconscious beliefs reflect who we think we are. They drive the bikes and follow processes. It is from that deep place that real change happens or stalls us. From there, we can feel whole and flow despite external circumstances or feel combat or collapse.
When we have done this inner work, been seen, held, and heard, we can shift our Trine brine to the right level of working and winning, even when we are not overtly winning. To offer another ancient wisdom: “We are one” not in scarcity thought — just like cycling teams, so we are winning.
However, sometimes it can take effort to feel like you're winning. I get it.
If, like me, you feel like you’re heading up a long mountain with no end in sight, look again. You’ve come so far and grown, but remember, even top performers need help shifting past doubt. Maybe get some support. Being supported shows you’re ready to be your best, and we all win!
Image from @toyoufromsteph — Instagram handle
If any of this resonates, or if you feel like you could use some tools to help you or your staff release, build resilience, and flow for peak creativity and performance, book a free self-reclaim & flow experience. Alternatively, come along to my next Zen Zone session, which reveals the secrets of flow and Resilience for the best version of us. Join the list below to find out the next date.
Finally, as we enter April, here is April’s Honesty Journal prompt from the 2024 Honesty.
With Moonbeams
Nila
Kind Words
“Nila is a force and an absolute delight to work with. She creates a beautiful space where I feel seen, held, and challenged. Her brilliance in neuroscience and the science of flow is balanced with her reverence for the sacred. Paired with her wit and humor, her sessions are an experience like no other. I can't recommend Nila enough.”
- Sonja, Leadership Specialist (USA)