Myth Busting: Personality isn’t permanent.
Many of us believe our personality is set in stone and that how we think, feel, and respond is unchangeable. But what if that's not true? What if you have the power to evolve into a more empowered, resilient version of yourself? In this edition, we’re exploring why personality isn’t permanent—and how understanding this can unlock doors to becoming your best self.
Stop the Personality Tests
Why do businesses keep using the Myers Briggs test when psychologists dislike it?
Watch this short video, inspired by a moment that made me cringe: my yoga teacher training class was about to do a Myers-Briggs test—one of those business-driven personality assessments. As a psychologist, my initial reaction was a strong No, no, no!
And I’m far from alone in feeling this way. During my Master’s in Psychology, my professors often laughed about how companies pour money into these tests, hoping to unlock insights into human behaviour and motivation. But, in reality, these tests don’t foster a compassionate or nuanced understanding of people. Nor do they build trust or genuine motivation—I’ve seen enough misguided corporate leaders try to use them to know.
What they often end up doing is boxing people into rigid labels that can limit personal growth. People hide behind statements like, “I’m an introvert, so I can’t present in front of others,” letting these labels become walls instead of tools for self-discovery.
In this short video, I also suggest what we could use if you want to understand yourself, and this is essential to your own growth and transformation. However, use a personality trait or tendency test instead of a personality type.
What is the difference between a personality type and a tendency/trait?
One implies that we can change with guidance, awareness, and practice. It means we can overcome fears, meet our edges, and overcome obstacles hindering us from creating the joy, life, and legacy we are here to create. We can even attract the relationships that fill us with energy and joy and do not drain or take from us without replenishing us. We can become our best and most empowered selves.
This will help you move beyond the conscious or unconscious limitations that a personality type can lead us to feel, implying that we cannot change. Instead, we need to recognise that we have the power and capability to step past our edges and transform if we are guided to do so in a way that meets our tendency type, be it personality tendency or nervous system tendency. It’s so easy in this day of diagnosis, labels, and doctors giving us pills to forget that we have all the power already within us.
In this two-minute video, I unpack the common misconceptions about personality types and show how openness to experience can be the key to creative growth and a step toward our future selves. Read more about the personality tendency research I refer to, often called the Big Five Personality Traits.
Big Five Personality Traits
The Big Five personality traits, developed by psychologists Paul Costa and Robert McCrae, offer a comprehensive framework to understand human personality. These traits—often remembered by the acronym OCEAN—describe five core dimensions that shape how people think, feel, and behave. Here’s a brief overview of each:
Openness to Experience: This trait captures a person’s imagination, creativity, and willingness to try new things. Those high in openness tend to be curious, open-minded, and drawn to diverse experiences, while those lower in openness prefer routine and are more practical.
Conscientiousness: Conscientious individuals are organised, reliable, and goal-oriented. They’re good at planning and self-discipline, making them more likely to succeed in structured environments. Low conscientiousness, on the other hand, may indicate spontaneity but can also suggest a tendency to be less dependable.
Extraversion: This trait measures how outgoing and social a person is. Extraverts are energised by social interactions and tend to be assertive and enthusiastic. Introverts, scoring lower on extraversion, may prefer solitude and find energy in more reflective or individual pursuits.
Agreeableness: Agreeable people are compassionate, cooperative, and eager to avoid conflict. They’re often empathetic and trustworthy. Those with lower agreeableness may be more skeptical and competitive, which can be advantageous in certain situations but might also lead to interpersonal friction.
Neuroticism: This trait relates to emotional stability. People high in neuroticism may experience frequent mood swings, anxiety, and stress, while those low in neuroticism are typically calm and resilient under pressure.
The Big Five model is widely used in psychology and HR to understand behaviour and fit for roles, as it encapsulates a broad spectrum of human personality in a simple, effective way. As I mentioned in this video, I am fixated on Openness to experience as studies on creativity show that the critical skill for CEOs, geniuses and our ability to break through any problem in life is creativity, and therefore, we need to be open to experience.
If you're still sceptical about whether personality is permanent, I highly recommend Benjamin Hardy's Personality Isn’t Permanent. This book dives deep into the research, stories, and evidence that challenge fixed ideas about personality. Hardy shows that much of what shapes our personality is actually rooted in mindset and can be transformed.
The Enabler to all Mindset Change:
However, I believe that shifting our mindset requires more than just willpower. We need somatic tools to support and ease the nervous system, which often holds onto stress and unconscious reactions, behaviours and beliefs. That's why I’m thrilled to announce an in-person masterclass designed to help participants identify their dominant nervous system type based on the vagus nerve, our "emotional resilience" nerve. I see this as a powerful first step toward embedding mindset change and exploring our edges of limitation and fear.
If you are not in the UK but want to identify what is holding you back, I offer one-on-one sessions. In these sessions, we’ll identify your unique nervous system type and create a roadmap for personal growth. Reach out to learn more or secure your spot. I will provide a short video to help you understand the why, and then we will do a deep dive in our 121 sessions. I’m so proud of this unique offering and its power to transform. This journey will start after the 23rd of November. Contact me if you're interested in one of 3 spots.
And finally, can I ask a personal, heartfelt question?
How are you?
And I mean, really—beyond the smiles, the brave face, the effort to lift others up while inside, you might be carrying a heavy weight. It’s been a hard time globally and personally!
Are you feeling supported and/or resourced to meet your challenges and manage your own emotional experience?
Wherever you find yourself, I’m sending you healing energy and love your way. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply be with what is—resist the urge to “fix” and instead allow things to unfold in their own time. This means honouring our nervous system’s needs, self-regulating, or even reaching out for support when needed.
Please let me know if you'd like a little extra support, and I will include you in my healing prayers during my daily devotion. There’s profound magic in collective intention and prayers, and I’m here to offer that to you. Even when life feels chaotic, remember we can find our own light—-centred in our hearts. As Professor Dumbledore reminds us:
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
Take care, and I hope the last two months of the year have the positive plot twists you deserve!