How to Cross the Gap: From Potential to Becoming
The gap between a person's potential and their becoming their best self is the gap of suffering for them. With less than a month to 2025, here are some critical questions to ask to cross the gap.
Have you ever seen brilliance in someone else that they couldn't see in themselves?
As a (closet) mystic and coach, I often sense and see people's incredible potential. I feel it viscerally. The real challenge is helping them believe in it, embody it, and navigate the paradox of taking inspired action while surrendering. Nothing is certain, and often, things that go awry end up being in our best interests, but can we stay in our power to the other side?
The Gap:
This month, I have been reflecting on the gap between a person's potential and their becoming that—the gap of suffering for them—and my challenge to help them cross it. Below are some questions that can help us step into our potential and become our best selves.
Can you cross the gap with ease?
I’m sure you have been there, too, seeing someone’s brilliance and then getting frustrated because they couldn't see it in themselves. Maybe it's a friend, family member, or colleague—someone held back by doubt or unexpected challenges.
Now, turn that reflection inward:
What advice have you given to others that you haven't yet embraced yourself? I say this because if you get frustrated, there’s a part of you looking into a mirror and seeing yourself - it’s all messengers and mirrors! So, are you ready?
Carl Jung - Psychologist
The internal work we need to undertake for personal growth is referred to as shadow work.
This month, I attended a talk on Carl Jung, who advocated the need to do our shadow work to help us grow and evolve and know our real selves beyond how we show up for the world and the limitations it puts on us. This is the 'Inner Work'—what Carl Jung called “Shadow work.” It's about uncovering the unconscious patterns that hold us back: self-doubt, people-pleasing, or the ways we react when things don't go as planned. Confidence, or the lack of it, also adds to this doubt and holds us back.
Confidence isn't just a feeling—it's deeply tied to our past experiences and inner narratives, i.e, the shadow.
The Invitation:
So, as we have about 30 days before the new year (eek), I invite you to reflect on a question:
"What needs to shift in me to embody my full potential, even when life takes an unexpected turn?"
This is a deep question and the work I help people with, but you can get still, go within, and explore it yourself. As you reflect, don't forget joy! What's the point of reaching your full potential without joy? But define it for yourself.
My definition of joy has evolved over the years, and yours should too—it doesn't have to match anyone else's. You don't need anyone else's validation to have your version of joy.
And here's the real non-negotiable: Self-Acceptance & Love.
Can you say:
“I accept myself fully, where I am, and love myself completely—regardless of external outcomes.”
This mantra keeps me grounded and going, especially when my ego craves validation, or my inner critic tries to take over. Paired with nervous system tools, it helps me trust the process: take inspired action and surrender to divine timing. This balance of inspired action and trust is the paradox of becoming.
But I get it:
Life's detours can be frustrating, but they often bring the most unexpected lessons and connections. This year alone, I've cried ugly tears and faced challenges, but in hindsight, I've met some amazing, unexpected people, and I've had (mostly) great experiences when I've let myself. I've grown and up-leveled in ways I couldn't have imagined. I can now say that I'm pretty proud of myself and my ability to be compassionate to myself, return to zen, and feel my inner joy.
So, how about you?
What unexpected moments stretched your comfort zone this year? Did they help you grow, even if it wasn't easy? I'm sure you did, and I'm sure you can be proud of yourself, too. If not, what can you do differently?
Finally, the most important question:
What's your non-negotiable?
Can you trust yourself, pursue your joy, and stay connected to your deeper purpose?
As we head towards the end of the year, start small: journal, move your body, or practice nervous system care. This is a great time of year to re-read all the journals and notes that you may have written. Why? They are clues and breadcrumbs…
Look for the breadcrumbs your soul has left in your past reflections—follow them with curiosity and courage.
Finally, and related to what holds us back:
I thank everyone who joined my Zen Zone class last week in Oxfordshire! Connecting in my home location was so special, and I met such amazing soul-led people. I can't wait to meet them again.
These sessions are designed to share the tools I believe are non-negotiable for stepping into our best selves. Whether you want to be a better leader or parent or connect more deeply with your intuition and creativity—your nervous system is the foundation.
It's the circuit breaker that powers your brain's ability to thrive and your body to feel safe to take action.
Zen Zone: Stress Training for Emotional Resilience
Learning how to be the master of your reactions so we never get emotionally hijacked, give our power away, or suffer from long-term sickness.
Our brain needs to go into the right brain wave state to do specific actions optimally, e.g. be analytic, creative, and sleep, but the body and stress can keep it from doing this. Think of it like a car, being in stress is like being stuck in 2nd gear, something called High-beta. Read more about the brain and flow states here, or reach out if you would like to attend the next online version.
Thank you for being part of this journey. As the season of gratitude unfolds, I'm deeply thankful for the incredible connections I've made, including with all of you. Please let me know your non-negotiable is; It’s inspiring to hear!
With moonbeams,