Who should we celebrate on International Women's Day?
Many women get highlighted as role models on international women's day, well-known women; women big in their industry; women of service. But this year, I celebrate you, me, every woman who has taken a stance and made a change to break their cycle of contraction. One example (among many) which I call out to illuminate my point - I want to celebrate Krista Haapala, a proactive woman from the USA, who chose to have a double (or bilateral) mastectomy before being pushed to her edge.
I share her recent inspirational podcast, where Krista gives reasons for the brave decision to be the circuit breaker in her family and have the surgery to remove something so intrinsic to women - our breasts!
Krista Haapala - Author of Body 2.0
What happens when we don't become the circuit breakers of our lives?
Well, how many of us feel small, stuck, sabotaged, and feel like it's all happening to us? Do you feel like we lack the strength, courage or support to make a change?
I talk to many women (and men) who wait until they are pushed over the edge to make a change in their lives, and this is perfectly normal. There is no judgment here, but I do offer this:
How many of you feel your lives are shrinking due to the 'better you know' choices you make? I know, I have been there!
Let me explain:
I stayed in a job for years; just 40% of me was happy in my glamourous job because:
It paid well - the prostitute shadow archetype, (staying not because it was good for me or my soul but for the money). But most people were cool, projects fun primarily (although I felt like I could do it with my eyes shut).
I wasn't promoted because I needed lots of operations which left me recovering for 3 months at a time (I had six operations in 3 years) - which one Director told me made me 'unreliable' despite being great at my job. It left me in my victim and child shadow archetype - Oh, poor me! It was all happening to me - so I thought.
Then I drank and ate rubbish food because, yes, you guessed it - poor me. This is called the Saboteur shadow archetype. Don’t think I need to explain!
These four shadow archetypes consumed me and ran my life. It wasn’t really oh poor me - but Nila ‘wake up and smell the roses’. I needed to make some decisions and take responsibility! But don’t get me wrong - its shadow archetypes were not black and white and it ran much deeper (but that’s another story).
The upshot:
I waited until I was pushed to my 'Edge' before I gave in and went back to University to follow my passion and did a Masters's in psychology and some brain scanning studies.
The truth is - I knew I needed to leave and follow a new path - it was a calling. I'd been nudged often, and I had ignored it! Not an easy decision on so many fronts…
When I looked back, I thank the irritating things and the promotions I didn't get because that pushed me on this road - but - big but - Question: if I had been braver straight away, would I have looked at my edge and decisions with fear or would I have saved myself from the angst that followed?
Well, who knows and it doesn't matter now... there is never a right or wrong. Ironically, I am back at the old job again for six months, consulting, using my new skills and I love it. Why because I am new, my skillsets are new, and I do my soul works too - but most importantly, I’ve ditched my shadows (mostly)!
Back to Krista…
Krista did make a tough decision to make a change and do the operation and she made it after she, unfortunately, lost both her mother, her auntie and more. The women on her mother's side of the family have all had this illness and faced this shadow. The decision to have an operation for any woman is hard, but Krista is an amazing role model for how to love yourself and your body. I admire this, even more, having made the decision to have a partial Hysterectomy, and I know I struggled with this loss for some time, and it was on the inside!
Krista exercises yes. Consciously (mostly) eats well and has always been in love with her body - how many women can say that? After her operation, she is still in love with her body - her image - herself, whatever society says women should look like - "Who cares".
Krista is an author, artist, poet, couples specialist, Sexologist, Intuitive Guide, and a loyal wife and friend. I have interviewed and chatted to Krista often, and we often say:
Whatever you look like, whatever your sexual disposition, you are welcome "All flavours are welcome here!".
Krista wrote Body 2.0. Why?
"It was myself self-witnessing so as not to get caught in the deep emotional currents of my own story"
The book helped her process her mother's passing as she says the book is also her medicine. In the podcast, Krista offers that reading the book now offers her a different vantage point from which she can see and learn to help her grow now. That is the power of writing things down, journaling even if you don’t write a book, the power to let your words stream out on paper is soo powerful. The key is to look back and self-reflect
To close…
As you reflect on how great you are as a woman - and you are - I offer you this invitation to step into your unlimitedness:
Grab a journal/paper and ask yourself:
What, if anything, is causing you to play out with your shadow archetypes*? What are they shadow archetypes (I can help you love them and turn them to light, but this requires some work…)
(Another way to look at it)…What is making you feel contracted rather than expanded? Or lean into the things that make you feel expanded, is this your real passion?
Are you sensing you are coming to an edge but waiting to be pushed? Why? Who is your support here to scaffold you to safety/freedom/a new you? (delete as appropriate)
Are you feeling blocked?
Keep asking what is deeper than that; the things that stop us is not the most obvious thing, which is why I help guide consciousness to talk to your energy and subconscious.
What can you celebrate about yourself? Call out 5 things and really do it: celebrate yourself!!
The Podcast:
You can find the chat in the Spiritually Fierce podcast where Krista shares about the writing process, the inspiration to write, and book Body 2.0
Take a listen, be inspired, take a moment for yourself and most of all - celebrate yourself, for everything you do - for showing up every day and for every smile. Smiles are contagious, and that's the one thing that the world needs today more than anything - expanded energy!
Be inspired - Shine your Divine Feminine - Go flow!
With Moonbeams
Nila
*Shadow Archetypes are sneaking and not always obvious- if you would like to know more about how to assess yourself and break free, contact me for a one to one session, and we can assess this. I’ll be creating a workshop on Shadows too, so keep in the know and sign up to the list at the bottom of the page.
Links:
Permission has been given by The Institute of Intuitive Intelligence to use this podcast from Spiritually Fierce as a member and trainee Spiritual Director