On Spiritual Retreat - How to meet your fears & fill your cup?
I’m not sure this is like most spiritual retreats, but the group I met with were intuitive fear huntresses… so what was I expecting? But first, meet Netty…
Hi, there
Meet Wayan Netty from Bali. She may not be allowed to sit in a Cafe & have a cuppa, but boy her cup is full!
In November 2022, I attended my first-ever spiritual retreat & taught too in soul-nourishing Bali. After their awful Earthquake & meeting beautiful souls, I was reminded that only I have the power to refill my cup. Meet Wayan Netty. Although she never uttered those words, she is the demonstration...
Fill your cup
Netty was my translator as I met a local Shamen, an Intuitive Yoga teacher & assistant to Lui. Lui is a spinster by choice. No one is a spinister in Indonensia. Women do not go to cafes and chat over a cuppa, never mind travelling alone. This freedom is a western privilege. I honour this privilege and let my cup be full as I sat alone at the airport in the joy of my freedom. I walked the streets and did get some strange looks, but I am no stranger to travelling alone.
What freedom do you have? Let it fill you!
Netty's energy cup was always brimming. Netty is timid yet powerful. She works with energy, and her work is her service. After yoga, I felt unwell, and she asked if she could help me. Netty gave me one of the most painful foot messages - ever, but she shifted my energy. She said this small act of kindness lifted her heart & it raised mine, too - I even jumped in the Ice Bath. So I offer this - on ThanksGiving
A Gift - Free 5-Minute Meditation
Heart Opening Meditation - only usually available to my 121 clients
I usually ask my clients to do this after an Intuitive Mentoring session to ensure they stay out of fear and into an expansive flow. The work is to meet their ‘Within’ - so their world without can be full of active hope, joy, and flow. I offer this to you to fill your heart energy cup too. Science proves this small self-gratitude can help you shift into flow. If you have ever heard me talk, you will hear me say your heart is the portal to your soul & intuition - known as the Anahata Chakra. We are energy-first creatures, so let your energy be light and full: Flow. - Watch the Video
On retreat, all our work started at the heart-centred, and everyone’s intuition was on fire!
What happened on Retreat - stays on retreat.. but a few glimpses…
Two simple things filled my cup on retreat - the connection & being of service.
Connection with others - I found this so hard when I was younger. Why? Because it means being vulnerable. It means you are being witnessed and held by others and hearing truths that you don't want to hear - or at least your protective ego-ic ways don't want to hear because you have to take responsibility. (Correct ‘Response’ - is within your ‘ability’, not knee-jerk reactions).
I was teaching and being of service, practicing our intuitive mentoring/method with other sisters, but the retreat aimed to break you open to who you really are - to stop habitual reactions. We did this every day by meeting a Goddessess and their archytypal energies:
Durga of protection;
Dhumavati of spiritual failure
Saraswati of mastery, intuition and creation
Kali Ma (ma means mother), spiritual liberation and fierceness (which I taught with others)
Priestess Maryam (Mary Magdalene) of service
Lakshmi, of abundance
Some sisters broke on the obvious days, Dhumavati, Saraswati, Kali Ma - as they ask us to do the inner work: As within, So without - As Above, So Below. That is what we were there to do - do the work. Face our fears. I reflected on someone who had resistance and didn’t want to connect for the first few days - her energy was distant.
The difference for her was she was asked to attend the retreat to help her pass her 350 hours of Intuitive Intelligence Training. Most of us had already passed. What did she do with her fear? She went inwards and became somewhat isolated - but it was good; that was all part of her change process. On the day I taught on Kali ma, which I delivered with my four other Spiritual Director sisters, I saw this soul soften…
Many people misunderstand Kali Ma.
My Hindu family looked at me strangely when I told them my Goddess that I was going to teach about. She is seen as a blood-sucking black goddess (think the Movies Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). Well, that is all wrong.
How you see Kali ma is more about your relationship with yourself, and this is what my session was about: Being faced with Kali ma and seeing what you see - face your reflection in the face of Kali Ma!
What Happened next?
Kali Ma's fierceness asked us all to look at where we are holding back and fearing others and our ego driving us. She is the slayer of egos. This was confronting for many.
I cannot speak to all that happened to the girl that day, only what she said. She cracked open beautifully, as did many of us and became a dear friend - to everyone. But first, she, like others, was guided to say - NO - with a No practice. To say NO in other areas where we can't or find hard! We fawn (i.e. play the good girl, not wanting to upset) or freeze. My No practice was so powerful for so many of us - as we stood in Goddess Pose and 15 women screamed out - NO NO NO NO!!
Why is it important? 'Because if you can't say no, your Yes means nothing' (Gabor Mate). This also works at the level of the nervous system and starts to re-wire its habitual fawning response.
She had never heard of Kali ma before but sensed the Goddess had been with her for a while. She left with freedom in her heart.
I have many personal stories to share about Kali Ma. Borrow her daggers to freedom & liberation, but do it with the utmost respect and know this, Kali ma will find you. She will find you if you are playing small, sat in ego, or need freeing from yourself.
When did I crack?
Weirdly - but not really - on Lakshmi day! She represents auspiciousness, bounty, abundance, love, health, and fortune. The week was structured to descend into your fears and then ascend. Lakshmi Ma day was on the ascent, but when I was forced to look at my worth and love within my heart - for myself and others. Again the work of a fierce spiritual soul is to face the 'Within - so your without can be abundant, free, joy - to flow'. Only then can I be of full energetic, and intuitive service.
Think about your worth! How full is your cup?
I left with a full cup - with connection, ease, self-reflection and honesty and being of service! I let my sisters witness and hold me, so I also say thank you for easing the work and transition to a new me!!
But, this is not and was not easy. I felt it viscerally like a stone in my solar plexus; Imposter syndrome was just one of the thoughts and a real heaviness in my heart - it was crushing. I couldn’t breathe. I woke in a sweat - all part of the process - but I had to name it - to see it and observe and look at it from the outside. The key was I used my energy, psychology and breathing tools to sit in the uncomfortableness. No bypassing!
I have returned home so grateful and full of love, and I trust - Divine timing!
Image from Colette Baron-Reid
I offer the Lakshmi invocation - it helped me, so start there & when your ready to go further, the work begins.
Invoke her with Mantra, ‘Om Shrim Maha Lakshmyai Namaha’
Finally: Energy First
All our work is at the energy (prana) and soul level, with training around the nervous system and neuroscience. So I am excited to share…
The book Consciousness Revolution is landing - yippeee & I'm a new author in it!!!
Book Launches Pre-Christmas for the E-book and lands physically in January 2023
If you are interested in conscious creation, creativity, innovation, or an entrepreneur and want to create a life and legacy your here to acheive, this is for you.
I was privileged to be part of this anthology book, writing about the secrets of neuroscience, the nervous system and ancient wisdom of Why Creatives are special when they’re in flow. Helping people play at the deep end of creation and life — & be in flow.
I started writing part of this after my brain-scanning studies in 2018, but it was academic and dry. My recent (strange) experiences have helped me bring the characters of creativities alive in this chapter. But it wasn’t easy — Imagine me writing as my family sat next to a pool on (supposedly holiday), and a gust of wind blew all my notes everywhere — Love Actually moment — that was me! Everyone was running around trying to grab my notes! My family wasn’t too chuffed, but I made my deadline at the last moment!
Get inspired - A few secrets of the chapters are in this blog.
The publisher has a pre-launch link, but I will have some pre-order copies to the UK - your support would fill my heart as publishing is anything but straightforward
I also offer a 20% discount on my Intuitive Mentoring session if you purchase before 24th January 2023
TAKE CARE - REMEMBER YOU HAVE THE POWER TO FILL YOUR OWN CUP
WITH MOONBEAMS
Nila
PS Don’t forget to join the list for the newsletter for more events and freebies (at the bottom of the page).