How do I get out of my way to succeed?
I break down ‘how we can get in our way’ and five intervention tools to get out of our own way to achieve success, including the neuroscience secrets of creative geniuses. The five tools offer behavioural, mindset and neuro-physiological interventions that could otherwise act as circuit breakers to our success, especially if we are feeling overwhelmed or need a breakthrough in life, creation or at work:
Contents:
The Two Questions At The Heart Of The Problem & Solution
Fuel or Friction
What is Deeper?
How Creative Geniuses’ Neural Networks Work & Why We Might Be Stopping Our Own Genius.
Five Tools and Interventions That Lead To Success
Bonus Content: Downloadable Self Discovery Map: Aligning Our Inner World To Create Our Outer Reality
“If only I could get out of my own way to, (fill in the blank:_______)
I hear this a lot. I have said it a lot; I am sure you have. Why does this happen and impact some more than others?
Below, I provide a little science of why this happens and what tools we can use to get out of our way. This includes neuroscience secrets of creative geniuses to help them flow and turn on their imagination circuits to make a breakthrough. But first, we need to ask two critical questions to move forward.
Questions:
Fuel or Friction: “Will my next reaction, action, or feeling add Fuel or Friction to the situation, my success and my health? Will that get in my way?”
What is deeper than this?
Let’s Unpack The Questions:
2. Fuel or Friction
Question 1: Will my next action or feeling add fuel or friction to my success?
Imagine you start something and then feel dreed, stuck, frustrated, or on edge. What do you do next? Abandon your activity? React and sabotage yourself? Feel let down or small? Take a break? Or, Sweat it out at your desk?
I.e. What do you normally do, feel, think or say to yourself, and how do these feelings play out? (Tick as appropriate):
o Feeling stalled, stuck, small and then sabotaging ourselves (food, drink, procrastination, surfing the net etc.)
o Overwhelm: “I can’t see the woods for the trees.”
o Writer’s block.
o Intellectualising but not ‘being in the being’ & flowing. Instead, you may say, “I get what I’m supposed to do intellectually, but why can’t I relax and do or feel this?”
o I can’t decide on the next step.
o Combat, collapse or escape (a situation, relationship or project)
o Fearful of the outcome leads to (fill in the blank _______ ) “I’m rubbish, and I should just quit.”
o “I’ll do it tomorrow”, or as my Spanish mother-in-law says, ‘Manyana.’
o Other__________
These are high-stake emotions but normal human reactions. But whatever you feel, & before you act, ask yourself:
“Will my next reaction, action, or feeling add Fuel or Friction to the situation, my success and my health?” ….
Because the list above and thoughts are all ways we get in our own way.
The next question we must ask ourselves is:
3. What is deeper?
Question 2: What is deeper than that?
We must go deep within ourselves and ask what is in our subconscious, neurophysiology, and beliefs holding us back and fuelling the wrong behaviours and thoughts.
When we anticipate stress or find ourselves in a tricky situation or the messy middle of a project or situation, our nervous system will scan for danger before the brain starts speaking. It will be asking:
Have you been here before? Is it safe? Will I succeed, or should I play dead, i.e. freeze? i.e. Should you continue, fight with an excuse to get out, escape, or freeze?
These ‘reactions’, can be our circuit breakers, known more commonly as fight, flee, or freeze. They are automatic, rapid and involuntary, so our job is to be conscious of how our body is talking to us when it feels unsafe.
Understanding our nervous system and somatic tools can help us step forward with the right ‘interventions’ for our unique nervous system and help us step forward sustainably. (Please watch out for my next post for somatic tools and Vagus nerve toning, which talks directly to the nervous system to help ease or stimulate it, or Tool 1 below).
Our nervous system is a memory of all our fears and stresses, and just like the invisible straw that broke the camel’s back, we feel a slow shift in our energy and then have the potential to break down and burn out.
Furthermore, this stress (whether work or life stress) and physiological state stops us from turning on a simple circuit in our brain that can help us make a breakthrough.
4. Creative Geniuses Neural Networks
Are we stopping our own genius?
There are three neural networks that neuroscientists have found creative geniuses use to help them create and innovate. One of these circuits, often referred to as the Imagination Circuit, is called the Default Mode Network (DMN). Our subconscious is stepping in to aid our problem-solving when looking for a breakthrough. It searches through our memory banks and plays through sceneries, allowing our imagination to aid us.
The imagination circuit is mostly used during the incubation stages of the four-step creative process. However, in reality, these steps are rarely linear.
The four-part creative process:
1. Preparation – We do the work. (Brain Circuit 1)
2. Incubation – Let the seed incubate & imagine (we get out of our way). (Brain Circuit 2)
3. Illumination – Breakthrough or Eureka moment – (Brain circuit 3)
4. Verification – Buy-in from others
FMRi, brain scanning studies show that the DMN (brain circuit 2) comes online when we are not actively working on the issue or using our ‘executive attentional network’ (brain circuit 1) needed in step one, but allowing ourselves to relax and enjoy something else*. From here, we allow our brain wave states into a state called ‘alpha or theta’ and away from a high-stress brain wave state called beta, which hinders our performance or creativity from solving problems or imagining.
When optimal, the DMN switches off the critical voice that often holds us back and gets in our way (mine is called Bad Janet, in reference to the comedy series The Good Place) and also stops us from our joy, fun, and imaginative self where inspiration can fly in.
What does this mean in practice?:
Don’t sit at your desk sweating it out! Go do something fun that you love and that helps you relax your nervous system and your mind.
This may sound counter to expectations or counter-culture, especially when work expects us to sit at our desks until we solve the problem. Or our partners, friends, and family keep asking, “Are you not worried?” and expect worry to solve the problem. But when did worrying ever solve a problem?
If it’s time to change the culture where you work, call me in. Innovation & creation has everything to do with our well-being! The basis of all my research and writing!
Worrying and stress are circuit breakers and will get in our way.
Why?
The Default mode network is sometimes called the demon network (*3). It has the potential of not awakening your imagination but rather having you ruminating on negative and fearful thoughts, where your imagination isn’t solving the problem but playing out harmful beliefs and scenarios. Call them belief bullets, and they have the potential to shoot you down.
If you are in the middle of a creative project, it could look and feel like you are stuck in the Messy Middle (see diagram below):
Furthermore, the third neural network that needs to come into play for creative geniuses is the Saliency Circuit, or the enlightenment circuit, the master switch of the three neuro-networks. It requires its own conditions to switch it on and create a breakthrough, but that is only possible if the DMN comes on as the imagination cell, not the demon network.
How do you get out of your way?
The DMN circuits are based on your deep memories and subconscious, but your nervous system state impacts how easily you can change your brain wave states to switch to alpha. Thus, we need to ease our nervous system first and then change our brainwave states to flow.
5. Five Interventions & Tools: How do you get out of your way?
The five suggestions below offer behavioural, mindset and neuro-physiological interventions to get you out of your way, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed or need a breakthrough in life, creation or at work:
Don’t Sweat it out at your desk! Activate more.
Our analytical, often critical perfectionist mind will hold us back. Letting our non-local intuition and subconscious help are a few ways to overcome this. I will focus here just on the Default Mode Network. Turning on our imagination requires a change of scene and allowing the brain to switch gears.
Getting into the right brainwave state or creating an altered state of mind can be simple with some simple hacks. Research* proves that we can activate the DMN if we change our energy from heavy and cognitively draining tasks and the problem to non-demanding cognitive tasks where you can flow and be lost for as little as 5 minutes:
This could be exercising, ping pong, non-structured liberated dance, using binary beats music at alpha, guided visualisations, or light cat nap or when you are waking. The list is long but could include doing a jigsaw, walking, gardening, doing the cups song and with my own plastic cup (I love this) or, like Einstein, playing an instrument, like a violin or active meditations like Thought experiments, which is my go-to. Let your inner creative be free!
Questions:
1. How easy is it for you to switch off?
2. In the last two weeks, which has dominated: Critical, Demon mind vs. Imagination mind?
3. Do you know how to do an active meditation, or thought experiment?
Remember, we cannot bypass ourselves: if our energy or stress is very high, we need to meet and release that energy. Techniques such as Tapping and more personalised somatic work or consciousness guiding are beneficial to release and meet fear.
For a deeper excavation and self-inventory, use this downloadable PDF to identify how congruent and authentic you are living. The MEPS Map (mind, emotion, physical and spiritual world) looks at your inner world and identifies how it impacts your outer world and relationships.
If you want to go further with me, attend my free Awakening Your Intuitive Flow masterclass. This courageous class goes deeper into understanding ourselves to get out of our way, which reflects the metaphysical saying:
“As within, so without. As above, so below.”
As life is a reflection of our inner world, alternatively, reach out for a personal consultation.
Date: Thursday 15th October, 7.30 pm - 8.45 pm. Zoom (or get the recording)
2. The Physiological sigh - Anxiety killer & return to a relaxed state.
Stanford Medicine suggests the quickest way to restore nervous system balance and kill anxiety is to use the physiological sigh (or cyclic sigh) :
Take two quick inhales through the nose and an extended exhale (x3).
Or 5 minutes under extreme anxiety
Why it works?
The Alveoli air sacs in your lungs can take up more oxygen as you breathe in, but this then sends a message to your heart to slow down, deactivating the sympathetic (flight, flee response) and activating the parasympathetic (slow down) and soothing the whole system.
Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman explains it well here, but the tool has been used by Somatic practitioners for years:
Alternatively, let your out-breath be longer than your in-breath (in for 4, out for 6) to ensure your system stays relaxed.
3. Behavioural & Mindset: The future feeling & 24-hour action
Take your mind and feeling state to the future. Imagine how achieving your intention and completing what you have successfully started feels. Double that feeling of success. Sit in that energetic glow!
Next:
If you are feeling overwhelmed, switch your mind to the micro-moments of now by working on what you can do in the next 24 hours.
Maybe ask: “What is the smallest effort I can do to get going?”
This could be turning up at your desk with a pen in hand, committing to do 25 minutes (set the alarm). Working from bed (to ease and support the nervous system), doing 15 minutes of exercise, Doing squats while you wait for the kettle to boil.
Habit Feeders & prompts: Setting out your clothes the night below exercising are called Habit Feeders. Placing, e.g. water or weights next to your desk and setting an alarm every 55 minutes is a prompt to drink water, lift weights or meditate for 3 minutes.
When it’s time to do the action: Don’t think, do. Don’t let your analytical mind come up with excuses and stop you.
Once you have completed, reward your brain with a well done! Your brain is in a box and loves to be rewarded verbally, then it pumps out dopamine, meaning you are likelier to do it again.
If you have a big project, maybe stretch to mini milestones to chunk up your steps to reach your intention and goal.
4. Language and the words are like wands. They have power.
If you are struggling in the messy middle of a project, or maybe you are a perfectionist struggling with the start or get bored and struggle with the end of a project, watch your narrative and inner feelings. These could generate feelings and words like, “I can’t do it”, I’m rubbish and not good enough,” Learn to catch yourself and exchange them for words like:
Start: “It’s time to get this project out of my head. Let’s go. I have done this before.” – Remember the proverb: The journey of 1000 steps starts with one step. Call to mind a positive project you have completed in the past, and let that fill you with confidence.
Middle: “I’m doing so well, I’ve already achieved so much. Write down you wins to date.
Endings: Focus on the feeling of birthing your idea or, if it exercise is your goal, feel the afterglow of adrenaline rush and say. “I am so close. Why would I end now? That would be madness.”
Remember: “Where you place your attention, your energy flows.” We must learn how to focus and flow. Come along to my masterclass & will share an AFLOW method that can help you flow.
5. Don’t tell everyone what you're doing – it reduces the chances of you doing it.
There is a place for an accountability buddy to keep you on track, but science has also shown that if we tell people what we hope to achieve, there is less chance we will complete it. By telling a person your plans, and they favourably respond, a dopamine injection is sent to your body and brain, which is lovely, but this means you may lose the impulse to keep going at it.
Think back. Has that happened to you?
Where do you need an accountability buddy, and where do you need to keep at it?
Conclusion:
The biggest outtake is to know thyself. Download the PDF to get going, and also ask:
Is this action or feeling fuelling my success or adding friction to my energy?
What is deeper stopping me from success?
Wake your imagination circuit* (Watch out for my book and e-book on this subject)
Release the fears and drag them from your subconscious.
Use nervous system tools to ease your body, mind, heart and soul.
Ask: Do I trust myself?
We are all different, but putting our states back into a regulated, easy state is a must for everyone, every day, and for trusting ourselves and making connections. When we can live and interact from here, we can get out of our way in a healthy, fun and flowing state.
Flow is the path to an optimal state of being and consciousness.
What next for you? How will you get out of your own way? Maybe try?
1. Bonus: Download the Self Discovery Map - A Map to get out of your own way. Aligning Our Inner World To Create Our Outer Reality
2. Join the online Masterclass: What is blocking your Intuitive flow? We explore the saying: As Above, So Below’, life as a reflection: October 12th 2023. 7.30- 8.30 PM (UK), 2.30 - 3.30 PM (Eastern Time)
3. Reach out if you need to go deeper to excavate and lighten the inner load. Life is a creative adventure. Get out of your own way and flow!
4. Try the bonus exercise before you start any activity and when you get stuck!
An Extra Practice
Tapping on the side of your hand, repeat:
“I now release anything and everything that is getting in the way of my success. Let it be easy. Let it be graceful. Let it flow.”
Thank you
With moonbeams
Nila
Sources:
Jung, R. E., Mead, B. S., Carrasco, J., & Flores, R. A. (2013). The structure of creative cognition in the human brain. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7.
Kounios, J., Fleck, J. I., Green, D. L., Payne, L., Stevenson, J. L., Bowden, E. M., & Jung-Beeman, M. (2008). The origins of insight in resting-state brain activity.
Church, Dawson (2020). Bliss Brain. Hay House, Inc USA
Scott Barry Kaufman, ‘The Real Neuroscience of Creativity,” Scientific American, April 19, 2013; https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-real-neuroscience-of-creativity/